Emotions are strange things. Since I knew I was changing jobs i've hardly stopped smiling, it's better hours and should be less hassle overall. I dont want to criticise where I was working but it was definitely time to move on and things werent exactly the way they said they would be.
But the fact is I was incredibly fond of the residents where I worked and got along well with a lot of the staff so although it's good that im moving on I wasnt exactly looking forward to saying goodbye to everyone.
Let's be honest, people move on all the time and a lot of nice things get said and I'm not naive enough to believe everything that has been said to and about me in the past few weeks. But some things that have happened have really humbled me and totally blown me away. The owner was in tears bout me leaving on more than one occasion, families were coming in to see me especially, some gave me gifts, cards etc. People were going to the manager and owner and telling them how sorry to see me go. This isnt an ego thing, i'm only saying this because it means so much to me that my residents families seemed genuinely happy with the job i was doing with their loved ones. I had to stop reading one of the cards I got yesterday because I was getting emotional. I got hugged and kissed to within an inch of my life yesterday and it was surreal. In this line of work there is a high staff turnover so these guys are used to staff coming and going and I was only there 8 months so I'll most likely be forgotton by dinner time tonight but I won't forget them anytime soon. One of the families have asked me to be a befriender for their son, I wasnt expecting that either!
I think it's obvious that I'm sad to be leaving but I had to move on. Everytime I got sad about leaving I had to remind myself that there are genuine reasons why I'm leaving and try and stop myself getting caught up in the emotion of it all. But I do care about those residents and they will be in my thoughts and prayers.
Wednesday 24 August 2011
Thursday 16 June 2011
impressions
well, first impressions! im not really good at meeting new people, i like getting to know people but the initial getting to know people can be a pain in the ass.
one of my closest friends hated me the moment she met me because she thought I was rude. Im quite a shy person at heart and sometimes end up being a bit too loud or over friendly to get over my shyness. or else ill try to be funny and fail miserably. i think thats what i was trying to do in this particular case but it clearly didnt work. in my defence id just had a 10 hour flight sat beside somebody who needed a lot of attention, had spent ages in customs cos 1 girl lived on a farm and had to go through a special section and this other lad struggled with the questions he was getting asked at security. "where have you flown from Sir?" caused him to run to me and say "Harley, we need a leader now." A likeable lad but a bollocks at the same time.
Anyway, first impressions. Im not good at them. I think maybe it's because I have this deep desire to be liked and try too hard? well, I think I used to be like that. maybe i still am?
What got me thinking about impressions was my boss being determined to find me a wife. I made the mistake of telling them I was single and she has this theory that married people are happier, better workers. Ive told her of my love of wwe, spurs and divas (mainly so that she doesnt think im gay!!) but she is adament i need a wife. in fairness to her she is employing a lot of cute people at the mo but sadly I have rules on ages and none of them fall into that age range. 3 years above or below is my rule.
most of this probably doesnt make much sense. im tired and had a little too much caffeine when i came in to work!!
one of my closest friends hated me the moment she met me because she thought I was rude. Im quite a shy person at heart and sometimes end up being a bit too loud or over friendly to get over my shyness. or else ill try to be funny and fail miserably. i think thats what i was trying to do in this particular case but it clearly didnt work. in my defence id just had a 10 hour flight sat beside somebody who needed a lot of attention, had spent ages in customs cos 1 girl lived on a farm and had to go through a special section and this other lad struggled with the questions he was getting asked at security. "where have you flown from Sir?" caused him to run to me and say "Harley, we need a leader now." A likeable lad but a bollocks at the same time.
Anyway, first impressions. Im not good at them. I think maybe it's because I have this deep desire to be liked and try too hard? well, I think I used to be like that. maybe i still am?
What got me thinking about impressions was my boss being determined to find me a wife. I made the mistake of telling them I was single and she has this theory that married people are happier, better workers. Ive told her of my love of wwe, spurs and divas (mainly so that she doesnt think im gay!!) but she is adament i need a wife. in fairness to her she is employing a lot of cute people at the mo but sadly I have rules on ages and none of them fall into that age range. 3 years above or below is my rule.
most of this probably doesnt make much sense. im tired and had a little too much caffeine when i came in to work!!
Thursday 20 January 2011
thinking
so i was thinking that relationships were pointless because they cant end happily. I was obviously thinking about romantic relationships but then I started thinking about all relationships.
This in turn got me thinking about the group of people i now work with, they all have a learning dissability and various other conditions which are likely to mean they will have a shorter life, some may only have a number of years left.
Does that mean I dont bother trying to help them? Hell no. I, along with the other staff, have a responsibility to ensure that each of their lives is as good as it can be in whatever time they have left whether it is 10 days or 10 years. Ive only worked there for a few days but I already feel myself become very protective of my residents, I love going into each of the units and seeing smiling faces. I had a few things on my mind the other day and walked in to check some paper work and was greeted with one of the residents running straight at me and giving me a massive hug. Totally made my day and made me realise that any of the issues I was stressing about really werent important at all.
This in turn got me thinking about the group of people i now work with, they all have a learning dissability and various other conditions which are likely to mean they will have a shorter life, some may only have a number of years left.
Does that mean I dont bother trying to help them? Hell no. I, along with the other staff, have a responsibility to ensure that each of their lives is as good as it can be in whatever time they have left whether it is 10 days or 10 years. Ive only worked there for a few days but I already feel myself become very protective of my residents, I love going into each of the units and seeing smiling faces. I had a few things on my mind the other day and walked in to check some paper work and was greeted with one of the residents running straight at me and giving me a massive hug. Totally made my day and made me realise that any of the issues I was stressing about really werent important at all.
Monday 17 January 2011
cynical
i said to a friend a while ago that i thought relationships were pointless because they can never end happily. Either you split up or one of you dies.
started thinking about this the other day and thought maybe im being over cautious in some areas of my life. you'll never be hurt if you dont put yourself in a position where you can get hurt. but then you'll end up being too cautious and totally unhappy.
not really sure where im going with this, thinking out loud more than anything I guess.
started thinking about this the other day and thought maybe im being over cautious in some areas of my life. you'll never be hurt if you dont put yourself in a position where you can get hurt. but then you'll end up being too cautious and totally unhappy.
not really sure where im going with this, thinking out loud more than anything I guess.
Saturday 1 January 2011
change
going through a bit of change these days. had a bad ankle for 18 months and didnt know what was wrong so to get to the bottom of it was a real blessing. to spend every day feeling like somebody was stabbing my heel with a knife every time i took a step was not fun and really got me down. to be able to walk up a set of stairs without any pain has been amazing.
in a twisted way i was looking forward to the surgery because i knew if it was successful i was going to be free from pain although i wasnt keen on the length of recover (9-12months) and i was fairly calm about it until the moment the surgeon came into my room and said they would be taking me down in 40 minutes. i suddenly remembered an episode of grey's anatomy where somebody had a straightforward operation and reacted badly to the anesthetic and never woke up. there was also a movie called awake where the guy appeared to be asleep but actually wasnt so could feel everything during the surgery. not that im a drama queen or anything but i just started praying but not for the operation itself, the point of the prayer was to say thankyou to God for an amazing life, i hoped it wasnt about to end but if it did I wanted to make sure me and the big man were on good terms!
biggest change im about to undertake is a new job, back working with adults with learning dissabilities in a facility in bangor. in just over a week i start as team leader in blair lodge. i really hope im up to the job. before working in simon community i was a support worker with praxis and i believe that i was a better person when i worked there. my latest job made me much more cynical and i had got to the stage where i had no desire to work with the people i was meant to be helping. they had a much differant attitude to life and i was struggling. i remember when i started with praxis 5 years ago and it was a humbling experience in many ways and made me more thankful for what i had.
in a twisted way i was looking forward to the surgery because i knew if it was successful i was going to be free from pain although i wasnt keen on the length of recover (9-12months) and i was fairly calm about it until the moment the surgeon came into my room and said they would be taking me down in 40 minutes. i suddenly remembered an episode of grey's anatomy where somebody had a straightforward operation and reacted badly to the anesthetic and never woke up. there was also a movie called awake where the guy appeared to be asleep but actually wasnt so could feel everything during the surgery. not that im a drama queen or anything but i just started praying but not for the operation itself, the point of the prayer was to say thankyou to God for an amazing life, i hoped it wasnt about to end but if it did I wanted to make sure me and the big man were on good terms!
biggest change im about to undertake is a new job, back working with adults with learning dissabilities in a facility in bangor. in just over a week i start as team leader in blair lodge. i really hope im up to the job. before working in simon community i was a support worker with praxis and i believe that i was a better person when i worked there. my latest job made me much more cynical and i had got to the stage where i had no desire to work with the people i was meant to be helping. they had a much differant attitude to life and i was struggling. i remember when i started with praxis 5 years ago and it was a humbling experience in many ways and made me more thankful for what i had.
it's been a while
haven't blogged in over a year. mainly cos im lazy but also because if i think something i generally write it on facebook or twitter. not so much facebook anymore because i made the mistake of adding people who know my mum and everything i write tends to go back to her at some point!
mum isnt as open as me about things so when i write something like "woke up in a bad mood. had a good dump. felt better" she isnt impressed. she doesnt really get the whole facebook and twitter thing so when somebody rang her to say they saw a picture of my cast on facebook she was a bit confused. obviously the person who rang to say that to her needs to get a life.
mum isnt as open as me about things so when i write something like "woke up in a bad mood. had a good dump. felt better" she isnt impressed. she doesnt really get the whole facebook and twitter thing so when somebody rang her to say they saw a picture of my cast on facebook she was a bit confused. obviously the person who rang to say that to her needs to get a life.
Friday 29 May 2009
Edwin Palacios
So sadly its just been confirmed that the body found recently was Edwin Palacios, brother of Spurs star Wilson. Deepest sympathies to Wilson and the rest of the family.
Wilson hasnt played in a few weeks since the body was discovered and at the Spurs v Man City game 2 weeks ago the whole ground erupted with many chants in support of Wilson, it was incredibly emotional and really touching. Jermain Defoe received the same support when he lost his brother last month. When the players came out at the end for the traditonal lap of honour the chants in support of Wilson continued and some fo the players were visibly choked at what they were hearing - was a lovely moment to be a Spurs fan and not a football in sight!
As much as I love Spurs for footballing reasons I love how they pride themselves on being a family club and I love how the "Spurs Community" supports each other. Spurs are a club involved with many charities and have set up the Tottenham Hotspur Foundation to support disadvantaged peple in the community and do a lot of work with folks with various forms of disability.
Obviously theres more to life than football but i love how Spurs get involved in the things that really matter in life.
It's fair to say we're not going to win the league every year but we're an honest, caring club and I'm proud to be a Spurs fan.
A few more cups would do no harm tho :-)
Wilson hasnt played in a few weeks since the body was discovered and at the Spurs v Man City game 2 weeks ago the whole ground erupted with many chants in support of Wilson, it was incredibly emotional and really touching. Jermain Defoe received the same support when he lost his brother last month. When the players came out at the end for the traditonal lap of honour the chants in support of Wilson continued and some fo the players were visibly choked at what they were hearing - was a lovely moment to be a Spurs fan and not a football in sight!
As much as I love Spurs for footballing reasons I love how they pride themselves on being a family club and I love how the "Spurs Community" supports each other. Spurs are a club involved with many charities and have set up the Tottenham Hotspur Foundation to support disadvantaged peple in the community and do a lot of work with folks with various forms of disability.
Obviously theres more to life than football but i love how Spurs get involved in the things that really matter in life.
It's fair to say we're not going to win the league every year but we're an honest, caring club and I'm proud to be a Spurs fan.
A few more cups would do no harm tho :-)
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