so i was thinking that relationships were pointless because they cant end happily. I was obviously thinking about romantic relationships but then I started thinking about all relationships.
This in turn got me thinking about the group of people i now work with, they all have a learning dissability and various other conditions which are likely to mean they will have a shorter life, some may only have a number of years left.
Does that mean I dont bother trying to help them? Hell no. I, along with the other staff, have a responsibility to ensure that each of their lives is as good as it can be in whatever time they have left whether it is 10 days or 10 years. Ive only worked there for a few days but I already feel myself become very protective of my residents, I love going into each of the units and seeing smiling faces. I had a few things on my mind the other day and walked in to check some paper work and was greeted with one of the residents running straight at me and giving me a massive hug. Totally made my day and made me realise that any of the issues I was stressing about really werent important at all.
Thursday 20 January 2011
Monday 17 January 2011
cynical
i said to a friend a while ago that i thought relationships were pointless because they can never end happily. Either you split up or one of you dies.
started thinking about this the other day and thought maybe im being over cautious in some areas of my life. you'll never be hurt if you dont put yourself in a position where you can get hurt. but then you'll end up being too cautious and totally unhappy.
not really sure where im going with this, thinking out loud more than anything I guess.
started thinking about this the other day and thought maybe im being over cautious in some areas of my life. you'll never be hurt if you dont put yourself in a position where you can get hurt. but then you'll end up being too cautious and totally unhappy.
not really sure where im going with this, thinking out loud more than anything I guess.
Saturday 1 January 2011
change
going through a bit of change these days. had a bad ankle for 18 months and didnt know what was wrong so to get to the bottom of it was a real blessing. to spend every day feeling like somebody was stabbing my heel with a knife every time i took a step was not fun and really got me down. to be able to walk up a set of stairs without any pain has been amazing.
in a twisted way i was looking forward to the surgery because i knew if it was successful i was going to be free from pain although i wasnt keen on the length of recover (9-12months) and i was fairly calm about it until the moment the surgeon came into my room and said they would be taking me down in 40 minutes. i suddenly remembered an episode of grey's anatomy where somebody had a straightforward operation and reacted badly to the anesthetic and never woke up. there was also a movie called awake where the guy appeared to be asleep but actually wasnt so could feel everything during the surgery. not that im a drama queen or anything but i just started praying but not for the operation itself, the point of the prayer was to say thankyou to God for an amazing life, i hoped it wasnt about to end but if it did I wanted to make sure me and the big man were on good terms!
biggest change im about to undertake is a new job, back working with adults with learning dissabilities in a facility in bangor. in just over a week i start as team leader in blair lodge. i really hope im up to the job. before working in simon community i was a support worker with praxis and i believe that i was a better person when i worked there. my latest job made me much more cynical and i had got to the stage where i had no desire to work with the people i was meant to be helping. they had a much differant attitude to life and i was struggling. i remember when i started with praxis 5 years ago and it was a humbling experience in many ways and made me more thankful for what i had.
in a twisted way i was looking forward to the surgery because i knew if it was successful i was going to be free from pain although i wasnt keen on the length of recover (9-12months) and i was fairly calm about it until the moment the surgeon came into my room and said they would be taking me down in 40 minutes. i suddenly remembered an episode of grey's anatomy where somebody had a straightforward operation and reacted badly to the anesthetic and never woke up. there was also a movie called awake where the guy appeared to be asleep but actually wasnt so could feel everything during the surgery. not that im a drama queen or anything but i just started praying but not for the operation itself, the point of the prayer was to say thankyou to God for an amazing life, i hoped it wasnt about to end but if it did I wanted to make sure me and the big man were on good terms!
biggest change im about to undertake is a new job, back working with adults with learning dissabilities in a facility in bangor. in just over a week i start as team leader in blair lodge. i really hope im up to the job. before working in simon community i was a support worker with praxis and i believe that i was a better person when i worked there. my latest job made me much more cynical and i had got to the stage where i had no desire to work with the people i was meant to be helping. they had a much differant attitude to life and i was struggling. i remember when i started with praxis 5 years ago and it was a humbling experience in many ways and made me more thankful for what i had.
it's been a while
haven't blogged in over a year. mainly cos im lazy but also because if i think something i generally write it on facebook or twitter. not so much facebook anymore because i made the mistake of adding people who know my mum and everything i write tends to go back to her at some point!
mum isnt as open as me about things so when i write something like "woke up in a bad mood. had a good dump. felt better" she isnt impressed. she doesnt really get the whole facebook and twitter thing so when somebody rang her to say they saw a picture of my cast on facebook she was a bit confused. obviously the person who rang to say that to her needs to get a life.
mum isnt as open as me about things so when i write something like "woke up in a bad mood. had a good dump. felt better" she isnt impressed. she doesnt really get the whole facebook and twitter thing so when somebody rang her to say they saw a picture of my cast on facebook she was a bit confused. obviously the person who rang to say that to her needs to get a life.
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