2009

Im really looking forward to 2009, ive got a few things planned and im sure there will also be many unplanned things that also happen.

so far ive got:

spurs v burnley on 6th jan

spurs v the scum on 8th feb

trip to texas for wrestlemania at start of april

wwe in the odyssey

belfast marathon in may

i would love to go to see spurs in a cup final this year but im not going to tempt fate by saying it will defintely happen! id also love to get a trip to canada in the summer but ill have to check the finances!

im also hoping to be involved in the ballysillan football week again and reach in august, both these things were highlights of my year and im sure they will be even better next year!

2008 has been amazing, full of ups and downs and ive got so many happy memories of the year. i feel ive learned so much about life, myself and had my eyes opened in so many ways. its a year i will never forget.

RIP Kathy.

December

December started off with a days filming on a drama about george best, it was great fun although flippin freezing and a rediculously early start! 

i was meant to go and see the pogues but i had to miss it due to my filming schedule. 

i only typed the above line cos i think it makes me sound like im up my own ass. im not really. honest.

went to london on 11th december and was totally loaded with the cold, the weekend is a bit of a blue looking back but i do remember being at spurs to watch us draw with united, great performance by the boys! came back from london and spent the next week lying in front of the tv as i had no energy for doing anything else and felt crap. eventually gave in and went to the doc and found out i had bronchitis and was put off work for another week.

 on the plus side it meant i got some much needed time off and got to spend some extra time with my family over christmas. on the negative side - i felt like crap!

November

November seemed to involve me never leaving work, had a couple of 60 hour weeks and it felt like i never left the flippin place! the whole month is a bit of a blur, i literally only remember going to work all the time and watching spurs a lot.

October

Went to see Lee Evans this month, he was very good and definitely good value for money, he was on for well over 2 hours.

october was basically a sorting month, trying to sort new mortgage and looking at my finances etc etc etc. 

needless to say i was still getting the house finalised!

spurs sacked their manager, coaches and sporting director on 25th october - the second year in a row weve done this on this date! i was worried that this was a knee kerk reaction and thinking the chairman had definitely lost the plot but literally a few minutes later it turned out he had someone lined up, harry flippin redknapp!! its fair to say i was pleased!

September

September was interesting! 

Had a random week where i worked overnight on sunday till monday, went to london on monday till tuesday, worked wednesday intol thursday and then went to london again from thursday until sunday. the london trips consisted of 3 spurs games, watford v reading with the goal that never was, some cinema visits and the dark knight on imax - superb!!

the monday night in london had the most bizarre incident of the year for me but i wont go into it here. it did restore my faith in people tho!

something that didnt do much for my faith in people was an unexpected bill for £4500. i spent a few days stressing and literally tearing my hair out wondering about how i was going to sort this until i decided to be proactive and gather all the proof possible that i shouldnt be paying this. it worked. was a nice little reminded of how we shouldnt be complacent tho!!

August

house was still being finalised this month, it got more and more frustrating as time went on. the bulk of the work was done but it was so annoying waiting for small things to be completed and even more annoying at hearing the stupid excuses for them not being done.

the football started again this month and needless to say there was a wee trip to spurs in the middle of the month. unfortunately our new look side lost and was a pretty poor day all round

highlight of the month and also one of the highlights of the year was reach. i was off for the 2 days before reach (my first proper weekend off in many, many months) and i was trying to think of reasons for me not to do it because i really wasnt in the mood and just felt tired and drained but the bottom line was id committed to doing it and i wasnt going to pull out now. i spent time praying and just gave everything to God and i was blown away by the whole week - it was fantastic and although i was knackered at the end of it i was going away totally encouraged and feeling renewed. to see so many people involved was amazing and to see so many people passionate about what was going on really inspired me, it was a great experience.

July

More stress. Im like a big kid in many ways, if im told something is going to happen i take that as gospel and usually get quite excited at the thought of it no matter what it is. when it doesnt happen i get pissed off and moody. this happend a lot this month! it was so frustrating being given assurances about things being done and when i arrived in the house to see they were done i was very annoyed. I snapped a couple of times, once in particular with the elctrician but the less said about that the better. 

i did move back in to my house this month which was quite nice in way but it was frustrating as i had my ideal scenario of me moving back in with everything completely finished both inside and out - this wasnt the case! also sad to be leaving my adopted home of the previous few months, it was great craic and at times i wished i left there all the time!

amazing thing about july was the football week with ballysillan youth for christ, the guy in charge of it seemed so excited about it and had described it as being the highlight of his year - i was a bit cynical and wasnt expecting that much but it was a flippin amazing week! i loved every second of it and was brilliant to go there for a few hours every day and meet all the kids and have a laugh with them and the other coaches. was great to go there and forget about work, the house and all other crap going on and just focus on the lads and making sure they had a brilliant week.

June

The house was meant to be finished this month. It wasnt. This was a frustrating month in many way as there were lots of deadlines to be met and when some werent it caused a lot of hassle and stress as it meant something else was then help up. It was a month full of meetings and trying to get things finalised. I began getting properly stressed this month, this went on for quite a while!

in lighter news i went to see billy connolly in the waterfront - flippin hilarious! the man is an absolute legend and on top of everything else is flippin hilarious!!!

May

Weather wise, may was fantastic which meant things got off to quite a good start with the house. It was really hectic this month having to run around looking for things for the house and i seemed to have constant meetings with builder, electrician, plumber etc etc. i seemed to barely have a miute to myself although i did manage to squeeze in a wee trip to spurs for the last home game of the season, the lap of honour was quite sad this year as i knew that a fair few of the players would be leaving the club.

may was notable as well for the belfast marathon which i completed. most people are quick to point out that i only walked it and it took me 7hours 20 mins but i couldnt care less. it was a challenge and i raised money for charity, im almost looking forward to doing it again next year. was very grateful to have nicky with me on the day and really appreciated his encouragement when i was starting to struggle! ill never forget the pain i felt the next day but it was worth it! 

April

April was interesting. I went to 2 spurs games and also was front row at wwe at the odyssey which was excellent! Renovation work started on my house so things were a bit hectic, i moved in with jude, ray and craig for what was meant to be a couple of weeks but it went on slightly longer! I also turned 26 which was quite depressing. im not big on celebrating birthdays so just went out for lunch with a few mates and watched the man utd game in the pub that night. 

overall things started to get quite hectic this month with the renovations, uni work and working extra hours with the simon community.

March

March was without a doubt the saddest month of the year. one of the residents i used to work with in my previous job passed away on 21st. although it wasnt entirely unexpected it was bloody hard to deal with, i literally spent the whole evening it tears when i was told about it. thankfully someone swapped shifts with me so i coud go to kathy's funeral, it was such a bizarre thing because we were all sharin stories and laughing our heads off because she was such a funny person but the next minute we'd b crying cos we all miss her even thought she gave us hell at times! im so thankful to have known her and im so thankful that she's not in pain in anymore, i like to think she's in heaven looking down on us and laughing at how upset we all are that she's not here - she had an interesting sense of humour!
March was the month that i decided to renovate my house, long term im hoping it was the right decision!!

February

February was probably my favourite month of the year! went to a northern ireland game on 6th and the next day flew to canada for a little break! i love canada and i love lots of people that live there. usually id have a big group of teenagers with me and id be there doing youth work of some kind so it was amazing just to fly over there on my own without having to worry about other people and spend some time with some amazing people and just chill out. i also got to visit tim horton's quite a lot! one intersting thing was when i was in a church one sunday the roof had been leaking and someone prayed at the start that the roof wouldnt leak during the service and it didnt. however when the service ended i turned on my phone and and there numerous texts for me to call home, i did and my mum informed me that a radiotor had burst in my house and there was water everywhere. i admit i found this hilarious, no major damage done or anything - God definately has a sense of humour! overall canada was brilliant and i loved being in hope again and loved seeing everyone again and was bowled over by how nice everyone was to me while i was there!
on 24th feb Spurs beat chelsea 2-1 to win the carling cup, its fair to say i was flippin delighted!! some bitter chelsea fans have tried to tell me that it means nothing and its a worthless cup but the fact that they played their strongest team would suggest otherwise. i hate sour grapes amongst football fans!!

January

Janauary started off in chris and ciara's house, i hate new years eve with a passion but in fairness this wasnt a bad night. January wasnt bad i guess, had 2 trips to spurs inclusind the amazing night where we beat arsenal 5-1 at the lane! i will never forget that night as long as I live! Sadly as we were walking out of the ground the news came through that heath ledger had died. this fet quite surreal as I had auditioned afew hours earlier to be in a movie with him. In happier news spurs signed jonathon woodgate, chris gunter and allan hutton. unfortunately we also signed gilberto and jermain defoe was sold to portsmouth. aside from being at spurs i pretty much just worked and fitted in trips to the cinema.

2008

so 2008 has been an interesting year and just for my own amusement im going to review it month by month over the next few days.

pointless?

so are blogs pointless?

in a way i think they are. was having a conversation the other day who told me that blogs were amazing cos they could write up whats going on in their life and everyone would see it.

but really the only people going to bother reading it are people who know you who are either nosey or genuinely interested in what's happening in your life.

is it not easier just sending them a text?

im kind of debating with myself because obviously i have a blog but i dont really put anything grounbreaking on here. if i have anything on my mind i dont write it here, i just stress about it and let it get worse and eventually have a freak out and get it sorted while the world carries on around me oblivious to the amount of sleep ive just lost from worrying.

we're in an age now where everyone not only has an opinion but an opinion which they believe should be forced on everyone around them and agreed with without question. i think that is why so many people have blogs.

i sometimes wish it was 10 years ago and we had no blog's and no reality tv and the interent didnt have pages and pages of useless forums with people giving their opinion on everything, most of which does not actually concern them.

an historic day

so the other day america went out and voted and obama got elected! it was predicted but nonetheless it was an historic day and a day that america will look back on with great pride.

why?

im genuinely confused by this whole affair. i hadnt been following the election at all but as it got closer thought i better take a bit of an interest so i actually knew what people were talking about. ive asked loads of people who they wanted to win and the usual response ive got is "aw man it has to be obama like! there has to be a change, bush is a disaster!" admitedly im not a big fan of george w bush but i understand the fact that he is a role model for stupid people world wide - if someone that stupid can be in charge of the most powerfu country in the world then there really is hope for us all! but that aside, all ive heard is about obama is going to change this and that.

the impression im getting from people i that they have got caught up in the whole euphoria of having the first black president and wanting to be part of history. i looke dup the whole presidenttial thing on the internet the other day and found many websites listing his promises and then a list of reasons why they they wouldnt work. these were mainly financial, he appears to have promised many things which will cost a lot of money but he is working with a deficit of $6.9 trillion! 

ive nothing against obama, im happy for the lad cos he has acheived something and from his appearence on wwe television a few months ago he seemed like a witty kind of bloke.

but ive got one of those feelings where i think it will all end in tears. 

kind of like the feeling i had when ramos was appointed spurs boss - look how that turned out!

house

sometime soon i hope to draw a line under the whole house escapades. its been possibly the most stress ive ever encountered over a long period of time. i was told that when the work started in april that it would be finished in june. we're nearly in november and its still not totally finished!

although it's been torture at times im relatively happy with my "new house" although if id known all the hassle i was going to have i would never have went ahead with it.

part of the frustration has been people breaking promises they made to me and going back when theyd had given their word on certain things. i had a concersation with someone the other day and they said it was all my own fault as i was too trusting and shouldve been more hard on the people from the start. to a point i agree but at the end of the day you have to treat people as you would want to be treated yourself and i think ive done that over the last few months, just because one or two people took the piss doesnt mean i wont trust people again when in a similar situation. im sure i'll regret saying that at some stage!

Canada

so i applied for a job in canada recently but for various reasons it wasnt going to work out. it only came up about 2 weeks ago and it actually starts on 1st nov so i wouldve had to go over for an interview and then stay until around christmas if it had of worked out. my boss in simon community is great and supports most of the strange things i come up with but she may have drawn the line at me working 5 days notice instead of my agreed 30!

would have been great if it had of worked out but such is life.

as i was sitting wondering what might have been i had a quick look at the jobfinder in the telegraph and glanced at a job that would involved spending up to 8 weeks at a time in USA, Canada and New Zealand as well as doing work in belfast.

 I wonder.............

only in N17

flippin heck its crazy being a spurs fan!

so our season has been woeful so far and i was sitting thinking about what disaster would await us when we play our next game against bolton and then good old danial levy decides to brighten up my saturday evening,which was boring aside from the joy that is watching the x factor,  by sacking our whole management team!

so goodbye damian, juande, gus and marco - it's been a rollercoaster!

rather strange timing for the whole thing but i respect danial levy for coming out with a statement that addresses the criticism he's received. and fair play for admitting he made a mistake.

onwards and upwards though and we've got harry redknapp in charge which should provide some more ups and downs, im actually feeling quite optimistic tho. then again, im always optimistic about spurs - they say love is blind after all. Im almost glad the canada job didnt work out, i couldnt bear to miss a moment of the madness that usually surrounds my beloved spurs!!!

babies

is it just me or is everyone having babies these days?

ive lost count of the amount of friends who have just had a kid, just found out their pregnant or are about to give birth very soon!!

dont get me wrong, im happy for them all but flippin heck it makes me feel old!

a random rant

a lot of things interest me greatly but one in particular is how some people assume that when they have a bad experience of something that everyone else is also going to have this experience.

ive noticed a lot lately.

someone i know flew with ryanair and their flight was delayed and was then telling people not to fly with ryanair because their flights were ALWAYS late. i can vouch for ryanair on this on, ive lost count of how many times ive flown with them in 2008 alone and i think just one,maybe 2, of my flights were delayed slightly.

people seem to apply the same logic to pretty much everything. hotels, restaurants, cities. one person told me not to go to london as the underground was too confusing!

i think it boils down to not looking at the bigger picture and having tunnel vision.

Christians do this a lot. i told someone recently that i hadnt been to church that morning and they started giving me grief about how going to church is important and how i need to be going to a church etc etc etc. I hadnt been to church that morning because I was knackered and had decided already to go that night instead!

I think as Christians we are too quick to judge each other and we need to wise up big style. We seem to get caught up on being involved in our church but do so little to help people outside of our little Christian circle.

Whats the point of being at every church service, every bible study, prayer meetings etc etc when we dont lead by example in other areas of our lives?

is it really right to phone in sick to work so we can attend a worship event?

is it ok to lead worship in church despite the fact we're lying on our benefit forms?

is it ok to drive an untaxed car with the justification that we're using it to attend a bible study?

should we really prioritise our Christian friends over those who aren't Christians?

I think we need to look at ourselves before we criticse other people.

Reach

Last week i took part in Reach in New Mossley and I have to say it was an amazing week!!

Before the week started I really wasnt looking forward to it at all, i wouldve given my right arm to have a week off instead. I was feeling physically and mentally shattered but i had committed to it so i had to be there.

I was totally blown away by so many people during the past week. I love people who are passionate about what they do and although I dont know the managment committee personally they inspired me so much last week! I love how committed those guys are to reach and the young people they work with. Their heart for God really shone through everything that they were doing.

I dont know why i worry so much about silly things. But I do! I was worried about not being a good leader, not being up to the job of leading a team, about not knowing anyone there etc etc. But everyone I encountered at reach was amazing! The management, the leaders, the reachers, the worship band, the speakers, the ladies making food, maintainance guys and everyone else who was involved!

what shone through everyone ,no matter what their role, was their heart for God and this was so inspiring to me and it brough a smile to my face every day. Im so thankful that I had the opportunity to be involved.

i need a break

im totally fed up at the mo. im cracking up with my builder and the mistakes hes making and everyone else i know seems to have their own theories as to how i should solve any issues i have.

i didnt ask for advice!!!!!

why do people always feel the need to give advice when its not wanted? i love how people relate everything back to their own experiences and feel the need to tell me how great they are. it bugs the life when people tell me about things they struggle with and they assume that i will have the same struggles.

people bug the life out of me.

i want all the workmen gone from my house then i swear i am locking myself inside for a few days and cutting myself off from the world. im even going to turn my phone off for once. anytime i do get a seconds peace these days someone is texting me asking a favour or else someone else is ringing to give me useless advice.

in happier news, the new football season starts in less than 2 weeks!!!!

sum hanlin boys

never again. never again in my life am i renovating a house! unless of course the wife makes me!

so everything was to be finished at the end of june. then the first week of july. then yesterday.

needless to say its not done and ive been so frustrated!! the latest annoying thing has been one of the painters varnishing over a price tag on a set of doors!!! been so stressed this week and at one point thought i was going to crack but now im just sitting here thinking ' what the heck'. im chilled out so hopefully everything will get resolved asap.

looking forward to the football camp at ballysillan im helping at next week and kinda looking forward to reach as well altho dont really know what to expect from it! cant wait to get back to spurs as well, altho im hoping robbie keane will still be there! i may cry if he leaves!!

its all about the money

im spending a savage amount of money at the mo! ive also started using the word 'savage' a lot lately, been spending lots of time in enniskillen and all the culchies down there are using it a fierce amount these days!
so work on the house is nearly finished, costing me a fortune but hopefully be worth it. the money for that is all fairly justified - bricks, mortar, windows, kitchen, bathroom etc etc. obviously you have to throw in the odd bit of luxury like a 42inch tv but i think thats fairly justified. as is the sky HD box.
also just spent a few £ on a travel package to wrestlemania next april, cant wait for that.
a few £ on my spurs season ticket. i genuinely had no option on this, not renewing it would be like deserting a family member in need and ive always been high on my family values :)
and i think its important to get the right work/life balence so i got tickets to michael buble, billy connolly, lee evans and coldplay just for some light relaxation tim in the the middle of all the stress! i was tempted to get tickets for neil diamond but (unsurprisingly) nobody was sad enough to go with me!

house

so the big went fence went up at my house today so its all starting to take shape. havent taken any photos yet but when i do ill put some up! cant wait till everything is all finished and i can move back in!

my builder sent me to look at doors the other day, i had heard of the door store before but had never been in so needless to say that was an adventure! in a couple of weeks i have to pick tiles. then there the fun of picking paint. im actually getting stressed thinking about all that!

marathon

on may day i completed my first ever marathon! its something i never thought i would do so im quite pleased i done it. altho im not getting too carried away as i only walked it and it took me 7 hours 20 minutes to do. i said before it that as long as i finished in around 8 hours id be happy. im planning on doing it again next year ad my aim will probably be to do it within 7 hours. it was a great day, raised some money for charity and got some much needed exercise! the down sides were the absolute agony i was in for the next day or so but it was all worth it and in a weird way im looking forward to next year.

have to say big respect to everyone who took part whether it was walking, running the relay and especially to those who ran the whole thing!

also big respect to my mate nicky who walked the second half with me - couldnt have done it without you mate!!!

fun fun fun

so as of last monday my property is now a building site! i was originally thinking the work might start in june or july......2004!!! so its only 4 years late due to various reasons! anyway hopefully it wont take too long to get sorted. gonna try and have some before and after photos of inside the house. had planned on taking some of outisde but (surprisingly?) the builders were very quick off the mark and had half the place dug up before i realised it!

got some stuff put into storage and im throwing out some other stuff. planning on moving out next week before they knock down my inside wall! incidently if anyone has any decorating tips, feel free to share!

incidently, if anyone has the urge to decorate my house for me - please let me know!!

smile please

so, this is lillian garcia. shes the ring announcer for WWE and she was at the show in belfast last thursday. My brother and I had front row seats. As far as im concerned, in this photo she is looking in my direction and smiling sweetly :) the reality of the situation is not important!

attitude

Sometimes I think our attitude sucks. Last saturday I got a phone call to say a resident that I worked with in my last job had passed away. She had a host of medical conditions along with her learning disability and it wasnt totally unexpected but she was only 27, I dont mind admitting that I spent most of that evening in tears as I remembered differant things about her. Even when she was wrecking the place and calling us every name under the sun, she was just so loveable! We had lots of laughs and ive got so many memories of her which im thankful for, but one of the things that struck me was her faith. One day when she came back from her mums house she made me sit down beside her so she could explain to me that Jesus died for us and we were going to heaven when we died. She also told me that she would be there before me so she might try and stop me getting in "for a laugh!". Another time she said she couldnt wait to get to heaven to have a party with the people she used to know and also because when she got to heaven there would be no more pain or suffering, no more learning dissabilities and no more prader wili syndrome (one of her medical conditions).

At her funeral last wednesday it broke my heart to see all the guys i used to work with having such a hard time dealing with everything. Really made me miss them so much more. On a lighter note, we were all standing outside the church afterwards, many people in floods of tears, but we suddenly remembered something that kathy told us many times - when she died we would all be at her funeral crying our eyes out and being all upset but she would be sitting in heaven looking down at us, laughing her head off because she had made us cry. This was followed by her little giggle that she did when she was up to some mischief.

she loved life, shes in a better place and most importantly shes not in pain anymore.

but were still here, probably complaining about stuff that doesnt really matter and getting worked up about things that really arent that important. maybe we should spend more time saying thankyou for what we have and learning to appreciate our lives more?

as i said, sometimes I think our attitude sucks.

Not much is happening!

a friend gave off to me the other day because I rarely update this. there really isnt much to say! since my last post Spurs have been in up and down form (mainly down), i went to the psv game and we lost 1-0. we also lost to birmingham and man city and went out on penalties in the 2nd leg against psv (altho we did win the game 1-0). the only bright point was when we beat west ham 4-0.
ive been working lots, my next day off is 29th march and im going to london to see spurs. then im working another lot of days and then off on 12th april....to go and see spurs.
im getting work done to my house from next month so im going to try and work as much as possible i think. if nothing else the money will be useful!
this looks like being the first summer in many years that i wont be doing much in the way of youth work, if things had been normal then i wouldve been leading a team to canada but sadly that isnt happening this year. maybe its finally time for me to move on to other things? dont really know about this one so i'll wait and see what God has to say before i make any decisions!

Glory Glory Tottenham Hotspur

What a sight to behold! Robbie Keane holding the Carling Cup after a fantastic 2-1 win over Chelsea. It means we're in Europe next year and its a sign that things are looking up at the Lane! And for those who say the Carling Cup is worthless : shut your face and get a life.

House prices

house prices frustrate the life outta me! my house is up for sale but nobody is interested in it. at the same time a house i'm interested in has gone down in price but i cant do anything cos nobody is interested in mine. i do have the option of staying in my house but renovating it and making it slightly bigger but it means staying there long term. really dont know what to do about it, i know i need to be patient but that's something that i struggle with at the best of times!!!

Canada

So Im just back from a great time in Canada. Was amazing seeing people again that I hadnt seen in way too long! as much as I love Summerserve/ First Contact/ The Plunge it was great to hang out with friends away from all that and just relax and spend copious amounts of tim and money in Tim Horton's!!

One thing that hit me when I was away was how many of my friendships are based on mission trips. Without all those trips I wouldnt have been in Canada and wouldnt have made so many amazing friendships. That goes for people in Northern Ireland and Scotland as well.

It also made me think about why people turn their back on God. All these friendships I have are because of God and I cant imagine not having all these amazing people in my life, maybe sometimes we think we can do things on our own without God but we really can't.

Anyway, im not going to preach!!!

quick update

so just a general update about where im at.

working for simon community since august and its been good so far. been challenging in many ways and a real learning experience and a good challenge. Been doing some extras work as well and this lead to an audition which was a really interesting experience to say least. some more in the pipeline but i dont know if its something i want to persue. i was advised that if i wanted to get anywhere with acting then id need to dedicate a certain period of time to it. that would be difficult to do with work etc so i really cant see that happening. i enjoy the whole extras thing but its not something im passionate about. The temptation is there to move to london for a while and go to a few auditions and spend more time at spurs but im not sure its going to happen!
other than that ive been getting over to watch spurs as much as possible and in just under two weeks im going to Canada to visit some old friends and have (in my humble opinion) a well earned holiday.

blogging

never really got into the whole blogging thing. its been nearly a year since i wrote anything here. im going to try and do better and its purely to amuse myself, it doesnt bother me how many or how few people read this!